it hurts....

ca sa nu intru pe tine pe mess mam hotarat mai bine sa scriu pe blog tot ce simt....desi sincer ma abtin foarte greu...stiu ca sunt cea mai proasta si mai stiu si ca....dupa toate fazele astea in mod normal ar trebui nici sa nu-mi pese de tine...but the thing is i cant stop thinkin bout ya....I simply cant....I miss everything....the way you lied with me...the things u used to tell me,altough I know they are bullshit...but I really miss all that...I do...and...I don't wanna say it in your face but all I need is one more night to be with u again...u undersand?y cant u simply say hello...y cant u simply ask me how i''ve been???why???I really want to....pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee just say hello and I'll invite u to my place and we'll have the most perfect night...and after that...tomorrow we can simply not even talk with anouther...but I really miss everything and I can't anymore...whats enough is enough...this pain I feel....this pain I nerver felt before...is terrible....I'm dying inside altough on the outside im tryin to be happy....u really think I can?no...not without u.....I can't live....when livin is without u...ooooooooooooof de ce trebuie sa fie totul asa greu?de ce nu pot pur si simplu sa iti zic ce simt si dupaia sa decurga totul de la sine...poate...dak as fi beata...poate asa as intra pe tine...ca a doua zi dimineatza sa regret fiecare cuvant pe care ti l-am zis...chiar FIECARE....hhm....e un amalgam de sentimente...durere...tristete dor si ura...si ura nu e pentru tine...nu....e pentru una care CIK e prietena mea....desi...mie frica sa inchid ochii...asta e si mai naspa...mie frica sa inchid ochii pentru ca..............................................................................................iti vad chipul....si da desi toata lumea ma intreaba ce am vazut la tine raspunsul meu e...totul....am vazut totul...am vazut ce nu vad ei....si m-am indragostit intr-un moment in care chiar nu aveam nevoie de asa ceva.....doare...asta vreau sa iti zic doare....te rog ia-ma de mana...sterge-mi lacrima...I wanna make up right now....even only for a night.........it hurts baby....

:|

stii....mi-am amintit un lucru...intotdeauna am zis ca baiatul de care ma voi indragosti e acela care cand apar cu un decolteu luuuuuuuuuuuuuung se uita in ochii mei in timp ce vorbesc cu el si nu la sani....si tu chiar asta faceai...si doare...pentru ca nu mai cred absolut niciun cuvant din tot ce mi-ai spus...oricat de frumos ar fi sau oricat de banal ar fi....e ciudat dar dupa ce afli o minciuna parca nu mai stii care e adevarul...poate simt asta doar acum pentru ca practic toate adevarurile s-ar lega de o minciuna...sau poate ca e pentru ca am eu inima franta....sau poate...
alegeri.tu.eu.minciuna.nu mai am cuvinte...

Christmas present 4 you :))

This goes to someone that was once the most important in my life...I didnt realize it at the time...I can't forgive myself for that...It's just....I don't even know....just try and read.....I wanna be the girl u poin at and say thats her....its really pathetic how i keep tryin to hold on to something that is not coming back...tell me why I lost you...tell me that you lied...tell me that you loved me...or at least you tried...there's beauty in all imperfections,learn to love them...waiting for you it's like waiting for rain in this drought...useless and disappointing...Its funny how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces....I guess just...sometimes...the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you...



si am crezut toate prostiile....pe bune...nu pot acuma ca am multe de invatat...nu pot acuma ca is foarte racit...stau in casa is obosit...am multe de facut...nas vrea sa vii aici si sa n-am timp pentru tine...si de fapt....de fapt la urma urmei se afla adevarul...si da recunsoc doare...bine poate doare ca una dintre cele mai bune prietene mi-a ascuns asta dar mai mult doare indiferenta ta si nonsalanta cu care credeai ca totul intre noi e OK...pe dracu boule nu era ok!!!!!!ce nu intelegi????jur ca un barbat mai patetic ca tine n-am intalnit...si eu care credeam ca esti altfel...mdaaaaa esti altfel...da in alt sens...in ala rau BABY...ce vrei?sa recunosc ca sufar...da sufar...sa recunosc ca numai gandu ca in timp ce eu ma gandeam ca vai saracuuuuuul e bolnav tu tio TRAGEAI, si da subliniez asta ,....cu altele?????ma seaca pur si simplu si ma enerveaza in acelasi timp...da nu stiu...parca nu faptul in sine ci faptul ca eu te credeam ca PROASTA....goood chiar am fost o proasta pe care o puteai manevra cum vrei tu si din cand in cand...da hai ne intl si eu :X:X si aaaa sa nu uit cand ne intalneam aveai grija sa te revansezi...asta apreciez....CRETINU DRACULUI....bine k e Craciunul si eu te injur pe un blog...vaaaaaaaaai de m-as intalni azi cu tine....juuur as fi cea mai fericita as putea sa iti zic toate astea in fata si sa ma descarc m-as simti PERFECT....chiar as fi curioasa cum ai intoarce=o iara in favoarea ta ca recunosc....talentul asta il ai si mai recunosc ceva...esti un player...si acum nu ma refer la fazele kre i le ziceai unei prietene cand te vedea in club "nu m-ai vazut te roooog"....daaaaaaa macar iti pasa...MACAR asta...da IMBECILULEEEEE eu cand tiam zis ca te-am vazut cu alte tipe de ce naibaaaaaaaaaaa ai inceput sa zici k eu nam incredere in tine si ca astea is prostii???idioooooot juuuur te urasc!!!!! de la iubire la ura juuur k e un pas si da fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie inca tin la tine dar te urasc in acelasi timp...nici nu stiu cum sa iti explic asta....pfoaaaaai eci ce ma seaca IPOCRIZIA ta...ma roade pur si simplu...da acu...daca tot s-a aflat adevaru hai sa iti zic si eo cum stau lucrurile hun...i faked the nights when we used to....I don't know how to call it...anyways....your sex was...WACK :)) hahaha...nu sa stii...nu ma simt mai bine dupa ce am zis asta...poate mai impacata cu mine....oricum abea astept sa ne intalnim data viitoare...things won't be the same and things wont be like this I SWEAR.....at the end....after I'll feel better remember....YOU made me do this ;) !!!!!!!

rehab

Baby, baby
When we first met
I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover
And my best friend
All wrapped into one
With a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden
You went, left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shot
That spun me around
And now my heart left
I feel so empty and hollow

And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hurt me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame

And now I feel like, ohYou're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on
These cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get
For wishful thinkingI should've never let you enter my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
Cause now I'm using like I believe
It's like I checked into rehab and
Baby, you're my disease

Damn, Ain't it crazy when you're love swept
?You'll do anything for the one you love'
Cause anytime that you needed me
I'd be thereIt's like you were my favorite drug
The only problem is
That you was using meIn a different way that I was using you
But now that I know, it's not meant to be
You gotta go, I gotta win myself off of you[

firmituri din trecut

meci.3 ore mai repede.salut.tigara.haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai.cos.catiagat.pierdut.asteptat.mi rau mo salutat.furat taxi.urmariti taxiu ala.shake.meniu.McDonalds.Obsession.torticolis.telefon.mesaje.vin.dansat.orangevodka.taximetrist gay.glume.ras cu pofta.domino aka bowling.stat in frig.mesaje.pat.orangevodka.glume.pat.pietestiiiiii.letzuri.lift.usa inchisa.pat.ras.somn.amintiri.trecut......

....................................................................................

"she's 14."
"she's 16."
"you're friend told me she's 14."'
''im tellin you she's 16.''
''ok.it stinks''
''no.she is 16."
''okok....but don't u smell?????''

...............................................................................

last words of a broken heart...

Come notice me
And take my hand
So why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I make believe
That you are here
It's the only wayI see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry

At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away...

I know u already forgot me...but baby I simply can't....and altough I will never see u smiling back at me again...altough u wont keep me in your arms again sayin that "everything is gonna be alright"...I will never forget u...I can't....

ultimul ecou...

I’m trying really hard not to cry over you because every tear is just one more reminder that I don’t know how to let you go.
It’s only after someone is gone do your ealize how much you miss them…
My friends are always telling me to move on, to give up.But why? Why should I?They don’t see you the way that I see you.They don’t look into your eyes and see the world.Why would they understand?They can’t possibly imagine what it means to look at your best friend and see all their hopes and dreams come true.I wish for once, just once,they could walk a mile in my shoes.But they wouldn’t need to walk that far,they would just take one step and suddenly,they would take back every bit of‘getting over you’ advice they had ever given me and realize you’re my life,you were meant for me,and that moving on or giving up is simply not an option.
You never really stop loving someone.You just learn to try to live without them
I really think there’s a reason that I love him so much.Like something is telling me not to let him go.Every time I follow my heart… it leads me to himr.I mean… what other explanation is there.Why is it that he is all I can think about?Why is it that no matter how upset I am…I see him and I can’t help but smile?Why is it that when he smiles at me…I get that feeling in my stomach?And even when he’d broken my heart,and hurt me as much as anyone could ever hurt me…when he lied to me… and I hated him…why then did I still feel those same feelings?Answer me that, and then I’ll tell you why I let him hurt me so much.

Don’t keep running back to the one person that you need to walk away from.

If I can’t have you, at least i was able to know I had you.
Someday you’ll know, that I was the one for you.
No one realizes the beauty of love, until you lose it.
If the human body can live with food and water,then why does it feel like I can’t live without you?